30 Days of Vegetarianism

For the month of September, I am going to “test-drive” vegetarianism.

why is this topic full of such hatred?

As it stands now, I only eat red meat once or twice a month. This is not due to some moral superiority, but because I don’t like red meat except in two or three dishes (a cheeseburger is one). I have never liked steak, and I don’t care for much pork. Again, I’m not smug about this – if anything, I wish I liked more meat because it would help my husband be more adventurous in the kitchen. And I make up for it by eating an enormous amount of chicken.

I have never tried to be a vegetarian before, and I’m curious to see how easy or difficult it’s going to be. I realize my motivations might be completely different from other people’s, but for better or worse, these are the two reasons I would consider someday eliminating meat from my diet:

First: I am an animal lover. I know this sounds cliché and childish to many people. But to me it is a very real thing. I think about how much I love my two dogs, and then I look into the eyes of a pig at a county fair.

I’m not convinced there’s enough of a difference there to create the distinction we are all so comfortable with.

At the same time, I know that every person sees the world through a unique lens and I understand other people don’t feel this way. It’s a luxury to live in a country where you can choose not to eat meat and still survive.

The second reason: I am frustrated with the agriculture industry in this country. I don’t feel like I am educated enough to speak on this topic…which is one of my points of frustration. There are so many problems with the situation that it’s hard to know where to start and whom to listen to. I have no interest in reading a pamphlet that vilifies meat eating or scoffs at vegetarianism, because I respect everyone’s dietary choices.

interesting

This problem extends far beyond meat products, as we know from the near-constant recalls of our vegetables, fruits, eggs, etc. In the United States in 2010, people should be able to go into a grocery store and purchase groceries that will not make them ill. This is something I firmly believe, and it doesn’t sound like an outrageous expectation. The beauty of this nation is that people can pursue all sorts of careers instead of attending to the task of trying to raise their own foods. (For instance, working full-time and teaching four yoga classes this week!)

Similarly, not everyone has the money, time, or resources to attend farmer’s markets or drive out to nearby farms and buy locally-grown food. I’d be happy to explain to you why these actions are a luxury of the middle-to-upper classes.

But I’m getting off track here. The point is: people should be able to purchase food in the grocery store that doesn’t make them sick. But even the foods that don’t make us ill are suspicious. The chicken breasts are oddly large and the apples are three times as big as they were when I was a child, yet strangely have less flavor. I don’t have to read up on the subject to know something is going wrong.

Giving up meat for a month will do absolutely nothing to change any of this, and I am completely aware of that. But I do hope it makes me more mindful of what I’m eating. I hope my body talks back and tells me how it feels about the situation. I hope to learn something. Follow me on twitter if you’d like to stay in touch with my project. Who knows, maybe more food projects lie ahead: a month of gluten-free meals! A month of no dairy! A month of no chocolate (yeah right)!

If anyone has any unbiased sources information on the topic, please share. I’d also love to hear your omnivore-vegetarian-vegan-related thoughts in the comments.

Namaste,
Jamie

It’s easy being green, and it can be cheap, too

The problems our earth is facing can be overwhelming. To make matters worse, there are advertisers beating down our doors trying to convince us that we have to spend more money to help the environment.

Nowhere in the “Reduce, Reuse, and Recycle” mantra does it say “buy something that costs twice as much as it should”.

There are ways to reduce consumption and help planet earth without spending more money and more time. This has become especially important to me in the past year, as I learn more and more how interconnected the world is and how seemingly small actions have unintended consequences.

I thought it would be helpful to post the things Andy and I have started doing recently. They’re easy, affordable tips that don’t even require very much effort. We have carbon footprints just like everyone else, but this is how we’ve been trying to treat the world with a little more kindness.

1. Stop using disposable things. I used to use a paper towel to eat small snacks, then I realized that it only takes me about 10 seconds to wipe off one of my dinner plates, and costs me only a drop of dish soap and a tiny bit of water. Paper towels cost money and take up space in landfills. As soon as we cut down on our paper towel purchases, I immediately noticed a decrease in the number of bags of garbage we put out every week.

   The worst offender of the disposable lifestyle is bottled water. Drink tap water out of a reusable bottle. Or, if you live in a place where the tap water is sanitary but kind of yucky (like we do), purchase a filter for your kitchen faucet, or a pitcher with a filter that can be re-used.

Next up on the war against disposables: dryer sheets.

1. Use less plastic. Our poor Mother Earth is aching from our plastic use. Throwing plastic into the recycle bin instead of the trash bin helps significantly, but still doesn’t solve the problem. Check out this old post of EcoYogini’s about Why Recycling Doesn’t Cut It. Every time we recycle a bit of plastic, it is downgraded and less and less of it can be re-used. Not to mention all the energy that goes into creating the stuff.This is a tough one because plastic is everywhere. It’s ubiquitous as far as packaging goes, and it can be very convenient. I don’t have a solution to this, but being aware of the problem is the first step. When I have a choice between purchasing juice in a plastic bottle and a glass bottle, I choose glass. The price difference is negligible, and every little bit counts.
2. Clean your cleaning products. A big part of being environmentally kind is to put fewer chemicals out there for our neighbors to breathe in. A couple of years ago I was cleaning my apartment bathroom (read: no ventilation) with my old favorite cleaning product: scrubbing bubbles. Halfway through the process I realized my throat and lungs were burning from breathing in those cheery little bubbles. Why should I clean my bathroom with something that makes my eyes water and my throat burn?We have since switched to using warm water and vinegar for cleaning. I have heard you should add essential oil, as well, to disinfect and make it smell a bit better, so I’ll try that soon. We have beautiful 110-year-old hardwood floors in our home and this cleaning solution works just as well as anything else we have tried.I used to love those Clorox wipes, which were even more convenient than paper towels. But they’re disposable, not to mention they come in bulky plastic cylinders. Using old t-shirts and dishtowels for cleaning is less expensive and less wasteful. Using a regular mop instead of a Swiffer means you don’t have to throw out a Swiffer pad every time you clean. These are affordable switches that don’t cause much more hassle, if any.

Here are some great resources if you’re interested in greening your life but need to see it in practice:

• EcoYogini, my first-ever yoga blog friend. She shares great stories about the ups and downs of trying to be more green, and presents information without judgment, which is key in this fight. We are products of a wasteful, self-centered society, and it takes hard work to reverse that.
• Zero Waste Home: a blog I just found about cutting waste out of your routine. I especially like this post where she addresses the affordability of her process.
• The Real Cost of Free Plastic Bags
• The story of bottled water
• Do Something.org

Namaste,
Jamie

Yet another reason to love yoga

Amy O, my dear friend who gets married herself in less than three weeks, and yours truly

Reason number 199 that I love yoga:

When you

• have spent hours on your feet taking photos
• are incredibly tense in your neck and shoulders from having approximately 200 people looking at you
• feel very emotional because a friend you have known for 15 years is getting married, and you can remember all the way back to the days that pre-dated boys
• can’t cry to release the emotion because you’re wearing far more eye makeup than you’re accustomed to
• feel overwhelmed with joy because so many people you love are all in the same place

you still know how to move your body to leave it all behind. Here is a wedding day sequence to take care of all of the above:

Seated meditation
Padmasana (Lotus)
Baddha Konasana (Bound Angle)
Ardha Matsyendrasana (Half Lord of the Fishes)
Parivrtta Janu Sirsasana (Revolved Head-to-Knee)
Bitilasana (Cow)
Marjaryasana (Cat) (repeat cow/cat)
Balasana (child’s)
Sphinx Pose
Balasana
Adho Mukha Svanasana (Downward facing dog)
Virabhadrasana I (warrior I)
Parsvottanasana (pyramid)
Parivrtta Trikonasana (revolved triangle)
Adho Mukha Svanasana
Virabhadrasana I (warrior I)
Parsvottanasana (pyramid)
Parivrtta Trikonasana (revolved triangle)
Adho Mukha Svanasana
Balasana
Setu Bandha Sarvangasana (Bridge)
Urdhva Dhanurasana (Wheel)
Savasana

Namaste,
Jamie

Conquering the Anxiety Monster

this monster is harmless, but the anxiety monster is not (click for source)

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, approximately 40 million American adults ages 18 and older, or about 18.1 percent of adults, suffer from an anxiety disorder. Anxiety disorders run the gamut from panic disorder to PTSD, OCD, phobias, separation anxiety, etc.

The monster that affects my life is generalized anxiety, which does not disrupt day-to-day life the way that PTSD or panic disorder does, but can still be distracting and upsetting.

I have noticed a significant increase in my ability to deal with anxiety as my yoga practice has grown. Three main things I’ve learned through yoga have helped: deep breathing, staying in the present (mindfulness), and a focus on acceptance. These things can help shove the anxiety monster to the background, instead of letting it stand on my toes and loom over me.

However, thinking about an upcoming travel weekend full of airports and airplanes makes me wonder if I might have the anxiety monster staring me straight in the face for a few hours. I did some googling and found a mindfulness exercise called “5-4-3-2-1” that is aimed to help you take control of the present:

Say “I see” and name something in your line of sight. Continue until you have named five things.

Say “I hear” and name something you hear. Continue until you have named five things.

Say “I feel” and name something you feel.  Continue until you have named five things.

Next, repeat and switch to four statements, then three, then two, and finally one thing you see, hear, and feel.

The idea is that if you focus your mind on current external stimuli, instead of catastrophizing and anticipating the future, you will help your body leave the “fight or flight” state that stress induces.

If any of you also deal with anxiety, try this exercise and let me know what you think. I’m going to try to remember it if I feel like my airplane is going to crash at any point this weekend. : )

Namaste,
Jamie

Leaving on a Jet Plane

On Friday afternoon, I will be here:

That’s right, I am packing my bags and jetting off to California for the weekend to visit a friend from high school who lives 45 minutes outside of San Francisco. This is extremely exciting for me – I am not exactly a world traveler as I have stayed within the Midwest my entire life, traveling a number of times to Florida and once to Mexico and that is all. The farthest west I have been is Des Moines, Iowa…so California will be a culture shock!

Flying, airports, crowds, and all such things make me very anxious, so this will be a good opportunity for me to practice my deep breathing and take my yoga practice off the mat.

Also, I will be waking up somewhere around 2:15 am to start this journey. I am usually strict on my no caffeine rule, but I may have to make an exception on Friday. : )

Any good yoga studio suggestions in the Bay Area?

Namaste,
Jamie

I’m not a 7 anymore.

I have been working up the courage to post this for weeks now, and it’s finally time. It’s hard to put these things into words, but I have decided to give it a try.

me on what I believe is the first day of 4th grade. wanna confirm that one, mom?

In the past few years, I have made remarkable progress with my body image struggle. I can tell you exactly when this fight began, to the day. I was in fourth grade, on the playground, and for some reason the subject of how much we all weighed came up (why? I don’t know, maybe we had all recently been to the doctor). Looking back, I realize that I was healthy, I was on the mend from having mono the year before, and gaining back some weight I needed. I was not fat. Dorky? Yes. Overweight? No.

I have a crystal clear image of where I was sitting (on a bench, near the playground equipment), what I was wearing (overalls – yes, I already admitted I was a dork), my own weight (86 pounds) and how I was feeling (crushed) when I realized that I outweighed all of my friends.

And nothing was ever the same again.

Later that year, the boys in our class got some sort of wake up call, overnight it seemed, and suddenly noticed that they were surrounded by girls. They started taking an interest in us. I have less clear but still hurtful memories of discovering a list of my female classmates, ranked in order of cuteness. I remember I was number 7. I don’t remember how many girls were in my class, or who was ranked higher or lower than I was. But being number 7 placed me in the bottom half of the group.

You would think that as a grown woman it wouldn’t matter what those 9 year old boys thought, but I’m embarrassed to admit that I still feel a pinprick of hopelessness when I think about being number 7.

Going through puberty wasn’t easy, but I don’t remember any of the middle school years with the clarity that I remember those two moments in fourth grade.

My first two years of high school, I had a hard time with body image. By this time, while not medically overweight, I would consider myself chubby. I ate too much saltwater taffy. By contrast, my two closest friends were naturally smaller and thinner than I was. I remember packing for a trip to Florida with them and their families and sobbing while packing my bathing suit. The idea of being on the beach next to them broke my heart. And I was fortunate, because my friends were compassionate and loving. Many high school girls aren’t so lucky.

My junior year of high school I went on a diet and lost 25 pounds. I started eating healthier and took a big interest in Pilates. Looking back, I know that this opened the door to yoga, and for that I thank you, Mari Winsor. After the weight loss, I looked great and felt even better. But as soon as you lose weight, you become terrified of gaining it back. Just in time to leave for college, and ironically at my thinnest and most healthy, I entered my darkest body image time of my life. My first year of college I felt constant anxiety about “the freshman 15”. I felt guilt when I ate anything, even a small granola bar.

 

me in 2nd grade.

Somewhere during this dark time, yoga found me. Yoga was not an instant cure for my body image, but it was a band-aid. It helped me hide the wounds, stop picking at them, and let them heal on their own.

About three years ago, my practice really took off. While on the mat, I felt strong, capable, beautiful, and confident. But when I stepped off the mat everything returned to the unfortunate level of “normal” that I had learned to live with. This is when I found I could peel off the band-aid, look at the scars, and deal with them.

Yoga has allowed me an entirely new level of self-acceptance. It is okay to acknowledge my own limitations, as long as they’re not self-imposed. It is okay to work towards a goal, and feel proud of myself when I notice success. It is okay to be shaped the way I am shaped.

The other night I was having trouble sleeping. I flipped around and put my legs up on the wall and my butt on my pillow, to try to relax a bit. I was wearing sleep shorts so I was looking straight at my thighs in all their glory.

I started thinking about my body, my muscles, my joints, the strong parts and the not-as-strong parts, the pretty parts and the parts that aren’t as pretty. This was more casual, sleepy observation than deep introspection, mind you.

Uninvited, a thought crept into my head:

“I love my body”.

For years, the one thing I wanted to feel was out of grasp. But now I can feel it without even trying.

And I don’t feel like a 7 anymore.

Thank you, yoga.

Namaste,
Jamie

The Yoga of the Indigo Girls

me (in the red coat) with Amy Ray (in the plaid pants) and Molly on the end, who started it all : ) (2008)

Today I want to talk about the year I turned 15. It was my sophomore year of high school. I was reflecting on this year over the weekend, and you’ll find out why in a moment.

When I was 15, I had never met my husband. I had no idea what college I would go to. I had a hard time imagining life when I would be living anywhere but with my parents, in the house I had lived in my whole life. My sister, who turns 19 next weekend, was just a kid. I often felt extremely angry with the world, in that inexplicable way that being a hormonal teenager makes us feel things we don’t understand. I spent all my free time reading, writing ferverntly in a journal that I decorated with stuff I cut out of magazines (cliche much?), and playing clarinet in the marching band (shut up). My most important priority was that my hair needed to look good. I had never been to a yoga class. I had only been kissing boys for two years. I had never fallen in love.

It seems impossible that any part of who I was then could translate into who I am now, but one thing does, and that’s what I’d like to write about today. The year I turned 15 was when I found the Indigo Girls. : )

This was back when I would go on long walks on my parents’ country road with my tennis shoes and my Sony Discman. How did I ever go on long walks without my iPod and Crocs? I don’t know. But one day, my friend Molly burned me a copy of the Indigo Girls’ album Retrospective. I incorporated it into my country road walks, and I was instantly in love.

I have come so far and changed so much since then, but I still love the Indigo Girls. Nothing about my day-to-day now remotely resembles my day-to-day as a sophomore in high school. But I still love the Indigo Girls. My other favorite bands at that age have fallen to the wayside (Dave Matthews Band, Matchbox 20 – now good for only a nostalgic streak every now and then). But I still love the Indigo Girls.

Me and my sister spring of my freshman year of high school (before prom)

Me and my sister, last month at a bridal shower

What does this have to do with yoga? Well, not much really, but it’s my blog after all. : ) And if I were to offer a connection, it would be that yoga means union right? Well, the Indigo Girls are the uniting factor in my life.

Their melodies and lyrics have been with me through most of high school, my first love, a hard breakup, all of college, starting a life of my own, dating my now-husband, my wedding and honeymoon, countless road trips, old friends, new friends, my fledgling career, everything up until this very moment in time. Their music has evolved along with me through the years, while my favorite color, food preferences, pant size, and general life philosophy have all changed too many times to count. Even now I will hear a song I have known for years and a lyric will jump out me and I will think to myself “So that’s what that means!”

I even got to meet Amy Ray at a concert in February of 2008 (after standing outside the tour bus in the freezing cold for a couple of hours). And I am extremely excited that this month I accomplish the second of my list of life goals: to see them in concert again.

So here’s to good music and constancy through life’s ups and downs. I’ll leave you with some lyrics that have been resonating with me more than usual these days:

And the best thing you’ve ever done for me, is to help me take my life less seriously. It’s only life, after all. (From “Power of Two”)

And there’s always restrospect, when you’re looking back, to light a clearer path. Every five years or so I look back on my life, and I have a good laugh. (from “Watershed”)

There are avenues and supplements and books stacked on the shelf. Labyrinths of recovery in search of our best self. But most of what will happen now is way out of our hands. So just let it go, see where it lands. (from “I Believe in Love”)

Find that bit of faith that sets you free from having everything to prove. (from “Dairy Queen”)

Namaste,
Jamie

First Lifetime Goal accomplished:

Learn to make cookies just like my grandma.

Success!

Namaste and Happy Friday,
Jamie

Confessions of a yogini with multiple personalities

Lately, I have been feeling a bit like an imposter. I don’t feel like just Jamie all day long, I feel like a different person during different parts of my day.

In the morning, I grudgingly wake up to my alarm and put on my cardigans and my dress pants, and I go to work. I work in a cubicle and sit at a computer most of the day. Since a lot of people in Bloomington-Normal do the same thing, the haughty and derisive around here have taken to calling us “corporate drones”.

I do not have an overwhelmingly important job, nothing vital hinges on my decisions, I do not own a Blackberry. At least on the good days, I do not feel like a drone. I can’t decide if these two sentences are contradictions are not.

My husband teaches three out of the four work nights of the week, so I have large chunks of evenings to myself. Now that the weather’s nice, sometimes I rollerblade down to the park and get some exercise. I walk my dogs. I spend a little bit of time each night fulfilling obligations: dishes, laundry, other chores. Sometimes I meet a friend for dinner or drinks. I spend lots of time reading blogs and keeping up with various internet things. Other than that, the majority of my free time is spent reclining on the couch, reading a novel. It is my favorite way to relax.

Once a week I take a yoga class and twice a week I teach. During these times, I feel most like myself — I feel like the happiest, most positive and clear-headed version of myself I can be.

When I am at work, you have to look hard for signs that I practice and teach yoga. I leave a few hints, but not many. The most obvious is that I can’t sit normally in a desk chair. I sit sideways, with my legs under the arm rest, or have one knee bent with my chin resting on it. I sit cross-legged a lot. I often do odd-looking stretches when my shoulders and back start to feel tense. I do not know how other people go all day without doing them! I almost always take off my shoes and leave them on the floor where my feet should be. I also wear very little makeup and jewelry, which is not yoga, per se, but relates more to Yoga Jamie than Corporate Jamie.

The dissonance of this situation hit me when last week when I was at class, as a student. I shared with some other students where I work and what I do, and it just felt strange coming out of my mouth while being Yoga Jamie. It didn’t seem like me, although I know I do it for nearly 40 hours every week. In the same way, when I am at work, I don’t feel like a yogini. No one I work with practices yoga regularly, and most of my co-workers know just the bare minimum about yoga, my teaching style, what I’m working on, what it means to me. Some of them read this blog, but that is likely the closest they will get to know Yoga Jamie.

I sometimes feel guilty pursuing other leisure activities besides yoga. I love yoga and as I said, I love Yoga Jamie. But I rarely practice at home, because – at least at this particular moment in time – I would rather do other things while I’m there. I want my blocks of time to read a novel, play with my dogs, visit friends. I don’t practice every day. I frequently chose to be Reading Jamie over Yoga Jamie.

There are lots of moments in my life where I think “I don’t live like a yoga teacher”. I don’t drink caffeine, but I almost always have a cocktail on the weekends. I love to sleep in whenever possible, sometimes even till (*gasp*) 9:30, a fact I hide with shame around my friends with children. I love to eat junk food and French fries and chicken. I don’t fit a yoga sterotype, or any stereotype.

I am sharing this because I want to know if it’s typical. Do other yoginis feel this way? What about those whose full-time job is to teach yoga? Is there still a gap to bridge between yoga and personal life? Do people with different hobbies feel this way, too – does someone passionate about painting, or cars, or writing, feel like a different person throughout other moments of the week?

More importantly, is yoga a unique passion because it informs the other moments of our lives? Because I can say “no” to my mat, am I exercising the balance I learned while I was on it? Since I can focus on being present as Reading Jamie and maintaining my breath as Corporate Jamie, am I always Yoga Jamie, whether I realize it or not?

Namaste,
Jamie

photo credit: http://au.lifestyle.yahoo.com/womens-health/fitness/yoga/article/-/6218203/em-yoga-em-for-workaholics/

The Country Mouse Goes To The City, Volume 2

The last time I went to Chicago, I took pictures of my asanas in various parts of the city. This time, I decided to find some yoga on our trip. And let me tell you, it was not difficult. Yoga is everywhere!

First, corpse pose at the Oriental Institute Museum at the University of Chicago:

Next, a lotus flower in the ballroom of our hotel. Is it really a lotus flower? Regardless, it looked beautiful and yogariffic to me.

A monkey at the zoo (disclaimer: I have always heard this pose called monkey in classes, but I know monkey also means a splits-type of pose. This is monkey to me).

Camel, which is a pose I never really saw the resemblance in (can someone help?)

Tree, thanks to a balancing bird:

And my favorite: Lion pose at the zoo, the museum, and the zoo gift shop (yes, that’s my hubby!)

Where have you found yoga?

Namaste,
Jamie