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When I set my 2010 goals at the end of 2009, I told myself I would blog at least twice a week for the entire year of 2010. Some weeks this was easy and I wrote more than two posts, some weeks I was really desperate to come up with the second topic, but I somehow found a way.
Last week, I only posted once on this blog.
I posted a sequence on Tuesday and assured myself that I had four entire days to come up with a second post (I consider a week Sunday-Saturday, which is at odds with my dear husband’s Monday-Sunday way of looking at life). By Friday I was a little concerned about not having written anything here yet, and by Saturday morning there was a sort of alarm going off in the back of my head that said “BLOG! BLOG! BLOG!”
I had a busy Saturday – heading off to my parents’ house first thing and arriving back home at 7:30, at which point I zipped off to a friend’s house for plans at 8. As I was driving home at 11:30 (four episodes of Glee later) I thought to myself “I have fourty five minutes to get home, come up with something worthwhile to write about and get it posted in order to meet my goal”.
And then a nasty little voice in the back of my head whispered “don’t blog”. WHAT? Are you kidding me? “Just don’t do it. Enjoy the last hour of your Saturday night, instead of forcing yourself to write some mediocre post people will just skim anyway.” The sensical part of my brain shrieked back, BUT IT’S A RULE! I always post twice a week! ALWAYS!
Before I had gotten home (it’s a 20 minute ride) I had decided that nasty little voice really had a point. Why do I create so many rules for myself? Sometimes they’re good for me, help me stay in line. But sometimes the rules seem to exist just because they always have. And I don’t want to be someone who does stuff just because I’ve always done it that way. I did read “The Lottery” in high school after all.
For instance, last fall I decided to cut back on caffeine. It was hard but after a while I got myself off caffeine completely. But what started as a healthy attempt to cut back turned into a label I stuck on myself. “I don’t drink caffeine”. What’s the matter with a caffeinated drink every now any then? Why do I have to be so “all or nothing” about it?
It made me examine my reasons for this twice a week blog rule. The main reasons I like this rule are because 1) I really like to write and it’s a creative outlet for me to do so, 2) I like to connect with bloggers and writing is a great method for this, 3) I really like to get comments on my blog and keeping new material is the best way to ensure those rolling in.
Then I was able to dismiss each reason. 1) I love to write but I had written a lot last week anyway. I have some intense (unbloggable) things going on in real life right now, and I write in a personal journal about those. Plus I wrote some long emails to a friend last week – things that needed to be said but were hard to put into words. 2) I connected with people through the internet last week, they just weren’t in the yoga blogging circle, so that’s okay and 3) the comments thing is just silly!
So I have decided that sometimes it’s okay to break my own rules. And I am giving up the twice a week rule for the rest of the year. Maybe I’ll post twice a week, maybe I’ll post a hundred times a week, maybe a week will go by when I don’t post. While dealing with my unbloggable issues, I have decided there are enough rules in my life right now. : )
Namaste,
Jamie
On the Mat 
I can totally relate! I prefer to think of them less as rules, and more as guidelines. If you understand why you set yourself guidelines in the first place then it is easier to know when to be flexible (bad yoga pun?).
in the name of enjoying comments as well (hi! nice to know you’re out there!) i thought i’d say, yes, right on, and “hello”
I am very much the same but getting better at chillin’ out and realising it’s okay to not follow one’s own rules/guidelines all the time. To tell you the truth, I prefer reading blogs that don’t post all the time because I feel I can really enjoy what they’ve written more and have more time to be more thoughtful with my comment because I am not trying to rush and catch up :-)
Agreed on the concept of guidelines and on the yoginess of flexibility! I’m so glad you listened to the voice. We must care for ourselves and I think you did just that, Jamie.
Take care and good luck with your intense stuff. I can relate. Big hugs!
Ah, comments are the BEST!
Be sure to take care of yourself. And, never ever feel guilty about your blog. It should be your happy space, not a burden.
Sending you lots of love.
I’m glad you are seeing the gray in between the black and white. Enjoy life!
Like you, I have a hard time with not living an “all or nothing” existence. Grey area is very hard for me to define. For years when I would take a survey that would ask me to judge something on a scale of 1-10, I could not understand 2-9! Either it was a 1, which was pretty much a total wipeout or a 10, which was a success. This judgement system was the one I used to critique myself, too. Which left me with a feeling that I had not succeed many times when I could have possibly given myself a 4 or even a 5. But – NOPE! if not a 10 then no points were awarded! Perfectionism is a bitch! I try to give myself a break now too. I still find it hard to live in the grey area, tho.
Hey, it’s your blog, you don’t owe anyone anything, and as long as you’re happy with your decisions then yay! Enjoy your time off (-line)!